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Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – Travis Bradberry

By Travis Bradberry ,  Jean Greaves, Patrick Lencioni

  • “Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.” 

  • “Anyone can become angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, this is not easy.” 
  • “The tricky thing about your brain is that, once a negative mood takes over, you lose sight of what’s good in your life, and suddenly you hate your job, you’re frustrated with family and friends, you’re dissatisfied with your accomplishments, and your optimism about the future goes out the window. Deep down, you know that things aren’t as bad as they seem, but your brain just won’t hear it.” 
  • “The biggest obstacle to increasing your self-awareness is the tendency to avoid the discomfort that comes from seeing yourself as you really are.” 
  • “Remember, feedback is meant to address the problem, not the person.” 
  • “You do control the thoughts that follow an emotion, and you have a great deal of say in how you react to an emotion—as long as you are aware of it.” 
  • “All emotions are derivations of five core feelings: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, and shame.” 
  • “Intelligence is your ability to learn, and it’s the same at age 15 as it is at age 50.” 
  • “Trust is a peculiar resource; it is built rather than depleted by use.” 
  • “Good decisions require far more than factual knowledge. They are made using self-knowledge and emotional mastery when they’re needed most.” 
  • “Your brain has a difficult time distinguishing between what you see with your eyes and what you visualize in your mind.” 
  • “The link between EQ and earnings is so direct that every point increase in EQ adds $1,300 to an annual salary.” 
  • “EQ is so critical to success that it accounts for 58 percent of performance in all types of jobs. It’s the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence.” 
  • “Self-awareness is the process of getting to know yourself from the inside out and the outside in.” 
  • “Self-management is more than resisting explosive or problematic behavior. The biggest challenge that people face is managing their tendencies over time and applying their skills in a variety of situations.” 
  • “People with the highest levels of intelligence (IQ) outperform those with average IQs just 20% of the time, while people with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70% of the time.” 
  • “Emotions serve an important purpose—they clue you into things that you’ll never understand if you don’t take the time to ask yourself why.” 
  • “Greeting someone by name is one of the most basic and influential social awareness strategies you can adopt. It’s a personal and meaningful way to engage someone. If you have a tendency to withdraw in social situations, greeting someone by name is a simple way to stick your neck out; using someone’s name breaks down barriers and comes across as warm and inviting. Even if you are a social butterfly, greeting people by name is a strategy to live by.” 
  • “Stay aware of your good moods and the foolish decisions these moods can lead to, and you’ll be able to enjoy feeling good without any regrets.” 
  • “The secret to winning this culture game is to treat others how they want to be treated, not how you would want to be treated.” 
  • “Physical appearance is more straightforward—what you wear sends a pretty clear, established message about how you feel. For example, wearing old sweatpants and ratty T-shirts and having disheveled hair every day tells the world you’ve given up, while overdressing for every occasion and never missing your weekly haircut lets people know you are trying too hard.” 
  • “Your personality is a result of your preferences, such as your inclination to introversion or extroversion. However, like IQ, personality can’t be used to predict emotional intelligence.” 
  • “Hard times of any kind—financial, familial, or job-related—create more intense and often prolonged negative emotions that ultimately result in stress. In addition to the physical costs of stress, such as weight gain and heart disease, stress also taxes our mental resources.” 
  • “Social awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on with them.” 
  • “When you’re stuck in a down mood, it’s not a good time to make important decisions. You’ll have to remain aware of the mood and understand it if you hope to keep it from leading you to make mistakes that will only pull you down further. Not only is it OK to reflect upon recent events that may have brought on the mood, but this is also a good idea—as long as you don’t dwell on them for too long—because often that’s all it takes to get the mood to pass.” 

  • “This sounds basic, almost too basic to mention, but listening is a strategy and a skill that is losing ground in society. Most people think they are good listeners, but if adults played “the Telephone Game” today, how accurate would the final message be? Listening requires focus, and focus isn’t easy because we’re stretched in several directions. Listening” 

  • “People high in self-awareness are remarkably clear in their understanding of what they do well, what motivates and satisfies them, and which people and situations push their buttons.” 
  • “Remember, planning the future and reflecting on the past are valuable exercises, but doing this throughout your day interferes with what is in front of you—your present.” 
  • As the first component of social competence, social awareness is a foundational skill. Social awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on with them. This often means perceiving what other people are thinking and feeling even if you do not feel the same way.” 
  • “When you don’t stop to think about your feelings—including how they are influencing your behavior now and will continue to do so in the future—you set yourself up to be a frequent victim of emotional hijackings. Whether you’re aware of it or not, your emotions will control you, and you’ll move through your day reacting to your feelings with little choice in what you say and do.” 
  • “Relationship management is your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully.” 
  • “The more we understand the beauty and the blemishes, the better we are able to achieve our full potential.”